Little Soulmate


She is my sister. My only one elder sister.

We just met a week ago when me and my husband went to her house and slept over for few days. But, I miss her already.

We don’t meet and talk much, since we’ve been living in different cities for years. But, we never as far as our distance. She’s the only one I have to talk almost about everything. She’s my bestfriend, my soulmate.

We fight sometimes, but our love is so much bigger than any anger or hate between us. I love her so much.

Dear sissy, I wish you were here with me right now.. I miss you! :’)


Been A While

Friday, June 5th 2015.

05:23 p.m. right now, all alone at a cafè in my hometown. Been a while..

Happened accidentally. Stopped here because of a problem of my husband’s car when I was driving alone while he is working.

Been a while, since the last time I drove and went to some place all alone. Feels quite weird yet relaxing somehow. After facing a trouble that I cannot handle by my own.

Luckily it’s a live music performance here, so it fills up the emptiness around this place. No one come alone but me. Music and chatters here and there, but still so much empty table to fill. Warm dim lights, wooden interior, friendly weather. I guess I miss this kind of atmosphere. Even though, too bad not in a very good situation right now.

Thank You dear Lord, I hope this is one of Your bless in disguise..

A Wife


Novotel Bandung, May 9th, 2015. I’m officially married to a man I love, my husband, Dimas Hendako Putra.





That day was one of the happiest day in my life. Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s true. I’m a wife now.

That day, was the day that my dream wedding become a reality. Gazillion thanks to my parents, sister, vendors and family for making it happened. ❤


Dear husband, said yes to be married to you was the craziest decision I’ve ever made. You know I’m not that easy to say yes. To a marriage thing especially. But, you know what? This is also the best decision I’ve ever made. I chose the right person and the right time to be happy together for the rest of my life.

I love you, hubby..

Bride To Be; A Day To Wedding Day

I can’t sleep (again)..

It’s 03.00 a.m. here. I just awaken by a bad dream after three hours of sleep. The dream was so bad, I even too scared to think about it again.
Oh Lord, it was just a dream, wasn’t it???


Dear a day husband to be, I trust you.. I know you will make the best choice in every single thing you take, for our future children sake..
I trust you, love…

I’m sorry for always being scared of this marriage thing.. I’m sorry for always make you have to convince me with all of these things.. I’m so sorry…

Dear future children, you will read this post anytime in the future, I know.. Because mama ask your papa to leave it to you anytime I passed away after I have you, and if you are big enough to read and understand.

Baby, I love you since you have not born or even since you are haven’t here in my tummy. I love you since you are still here in my imagination. I love you since you are only a dream to me and your father. A dream that we really wish to be true.
I hope when you read it someday, you’ll read it with a smile because you love us too.. :’)

No secret to be kept here baby.. Soon or later, mama will write more for you..

I love you dear future husband and children of mine.. ❤

Bride To Be; Three Days To Wedding Day

It is so quite right now, in my house. I can hear birds chirping all around (literally). Because my room located at the second floor, so basically I live close with the birds here.

It’s been days, I’m just staying around at my room, doing nothing but eat, sleep, and movies. Yes, since a week to the wedding day I cannot go anywhere. My family make me trapped here in this house like a prisoner. Well, in our country we call it “pingit”. It’s the days like this, when the wedding is close enough, the bride have no permission to go outside the house. For a safety and healthy reasons.

Stay in the house for so long makes me thinking too much. And it’s more tiring to me, than going outside and meet people out there. Oh, I miss my fiancé, my three days husband to be!


I miss the way he looks at me..


I miss the way he makes me laugh..


I miss the way he thinks I’m cute.. :p

I miss everything about him…

Dear Husband To Be; A Week To Wedding Day


The day is getting closer..

Baby, I’m affraid.. of lotta things.
My head is full, as always. Yes, it’s still.
We made it for almost ten months so far, with no break up, just some little and big fights.
It changed me quite much, our fights. I don’t like it, I want it no more in the future. We could talk, not fight. We could whisper, not shout.
We’ve made the promise. I know we could fullfil it.

Baby, this is weird.. my feeling.
I’m too affraid to expect, so I wish nothing but well.
I’m happy it’s all going really well so far, our wedding preparation. But baby, we will never know.
I’m sorry, for always be ready for the worst.
But baby, when it happened to be more than well, I’ll be the happiest of all.


Baby, don’t change.. I like it when you are so soft.
The way you talk, the way you touch, the way you see me, the way you make me feel, just like how I know you since eight years ago.
I know you’ll be a great husband of me.
I know you’ll be a great father of our children.
I know you will…



All I know, and all I learned about empathy so far since I was a kid until I got the class in university, is that when we have empathy for someone/anyone, we do something that can lift them up, because we understand how it feels to be in their situation.
Not to put ourself in the same situation. Because who will pull them up if we “jump” into the same “hole”?

Someone have to stay outside the hole, not to leave the people in the hole, but to help them get out of that freaking dark hole.
Well, CMIIW but that’s what I know.

We have empathy not to be in the same dark place and cry together over the situation.
We have empathy to help as an outcome. To be happy together as the final result.

We understand how it feels to be down, we try to help them up and share the feelings until the bad turns into the good or even the best.

That’s what I know..