A Wife

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Novotel Bandung, May 9th, 2015. I’m officially married to a man I love, my husband, Dimas Hendako Putra.

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That day was one of the happiest day in my life. Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s true. I’m a wife now.

That day, was the day that my dream wedding become a reality. Gazillion thanks to my parents, sister, vendors and family for making it happened. ❤

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Dear husband, said yes to be married to you was the craziest decision I’ve ever made. You know I’m not that easy to say yes. To a marriage thing especially. But, you know what? This is also the best decision I’ve ever made. I chose the right person and the right time to be happy together for the rest of my life.

I love you, hubby..

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Bride To Be; The Therapy

I feel numb, I need a therapy.

Lately I’m lost.
Honestly?
This is not easy.

You know I used to not believe in love, right?
And now I’m getting married!!!
OH MY GOD! Really?!?
I have to admit, I’m scared. Really really scared.

Not that I don’t believe in my fiancé’s love, but… is that really love what he feels for me? Is he sure about it? How about what I feel for him? Is it? Will it last forever in me and him??
I’m scared! Totally scared!
I believe in him, I just used to not believe in love.

The difference now is, I used to not believe in love and didn’t care about it also. I used to think about marriage and didn’t really care about the existence of the love it self. But now, I do care about it! So much! I don’t wanna get married without love in it. True love what I’m talking about!

Oh my God! I’m panic, I am! I know I am! And that is why I’m writing here right now, and almost everyday these days. This is my therapy. I write as a therapy..

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I’ll make it. I know I will..
He loves me, and I love him.
We’ll make it. I know we will…
(I whisper it everyday in my heart)

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Bride To Be; 50 Days To Wedding Day

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It’s getting closer.. The wedding, everything..

Texts and calls from our vendors feels like a wake up alarm to me. They reminded me of how close I am to the wedding day now. 50 days, yes, THAT CLOSE!

Some friends asked me how do I feel about it. To be honest? I DON’T KNOW!
I don’t know what it is. I have no idea how to describe my feeling and what it called. I never had this kind of feeling in my life before. This is new to me. I don’t know whether I’m happy or sad, excited or scared, ready or not. Really!
This is just so weird, and I don’t know what to say anymore.
All I know is, ready or not, my life is gonna change in the next 50 days..

Dear Allah, may this is one of your best plan for me and my husband to be in our lives now and then.. Lead us the way.. Your best way… Aamiin..

Dear readers, this time I really wish you could send a good prayer for me and my husband to be wedding and marriage.. Wish me luck! :)

Bride To Be; Two Months To Wedding Day

March 9th 2015, exact two months before my wedding day on May 9th 2015.

Some people said “The closer the wedding, the harder the situation you have to get through. Problems come and go, either from your wedding preparation or even between you and your husband/wife to be.”
Now I know…

My problem now, is the invisible thing that matter the most. The thing that I have to work hard on to control. My feeling.
It’s become pretty wild lately. It become so unpredictable. I can cry over and over on the same day, over the little things I feel unhappy with. Now I’m more sensitive than whenever before in my life. I’ve tried to stop it, but believe me it is not that easy.

I have ever been in the other side position of course, which is being the outsider of some people’s wedding preparation. Being the ears to listen.
From my point of view that time, these “little heart problem” was just a drama. It wasn’t supposed to be a thing that can ruin your welcoming wedding mood. But now? I totally understand.

I don’t mean to make you (haven’t married reader) scared of wedding. I write it here just to share what I feel as a two months bride to be. Different person different problem of course. Or even maybe some people doesn’t have any pre-wedding problem at all? Hopefully you will be one of them when you are about to get married someday! Aamiin

Well, it’s just a test to be passed. I know I will..
Happy Monday! :)

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