The One


Ya Allah,
Only You The One I could tell the full story of my life,
Only You The One I could ask for help,
Because only You The One who sees and knows the truth of everything.
Only You who sees me true, outside and inside down deep into my heart.

Ya Allah,
I know You give me this because I can,
I know You just want me to get closer to You even more,
I know You just want me to comunicate to You better,
I know You love me, and everything that happened to me these days was the way You remind me how strong and brave I was, and still.

Ya Allah,
Thank You. I cannot see everything clear the way You do, but I know it won’t happened without your permission. I know Your plan is always better than mine.

Ya Allah,
Let me always be close to You. Help remind me again if I ever forget..


One Step Closer


Bandung, November 15th 2014.
I’m officially engaged, to a man that I love, my former boyfriend which I call fiancé now.

I now literally have a ring on my ringfinger. The sweetest one from my sweetest love. The thing that I never been this excited to use before. The only “couple” thing that we have so far. Our rings! ❤

I’m so happy that at that day, I had my family and bestfriends gathered with us in my parents’ house. I’m so happy to know that we got so much prayers from a lot of people, wishing us all the good things in the world. Amen to that!

One step closer… May Allah be with us forever. Aamiin..

Dear God,

Bandung, Sunday, June 8th 2014.


Have you ever scared of your own feeling? When something happened in your heart but you are too afraid to admit it?
Well, it’s not my first time.

I never plan to fall in love. I guess no one ever. But some people are just so ready, then it would be a good surprise for them when it’s coming. For me? I still don’t understand.

It’s been a while since I had this kind of feeling. Weird. I forgot how to react. Comfort in my heart but not in my head. Overthinking, as always.

Sometimes I wanna get out of my body and scream at it so loud. Super loud, so it can realize how stupid it is to keep the fear inside. I wanna be free. Free to follow my feeling deep in my heart, without those monsters in my head. Fearless.

I keep talking to God, looking for the answer. I need it. I can’t see the path clearly now. I need a guide. I need You, God.