Bride To Be; A Day To Wedding Day

I can’t sleep (again)..

It’s 03.00 a.m. here. I just awaken by a bad dream after three hours of sleep. The dream was so bad, I even too scared to think about it again.
Oh Lord, it was just a dream, wasn’t it???

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Dear a day husband to be, I trust you.. I know you will make the best choice in every single thing you take, for our future children sake..
I trust you, love…

I’m sorry for always being scared of this marriage thing.. I’m sorry for always make you have to convince me with all of these things.. I’m so sorry…

Dear future children, you will read this post anytime in the future, I know.. Because mama ask your papa to leave it to you anytime I passed away after I have you, and if you are big enough to read and understand.

Baby, I love you since you have not born or even since you are haven’t here in my tummy. I love you since you are still here in my imagination. I love you since you are only a dream to me and your father. A dream that we really wish to be true.
I hope when you read it someday, you’ll read it with a smile because you love us too.. :’)

No secret to be kept here baby.. Soon or later, mama will write more for you..

I love you dear future husband and children of mine.. ❤

Note To Self; Remember How You Hate Expectations

I am an enemy, to a thing called expectation.

Maybe most of people who follow my blogs (multiply, blogspot, and wordpress now) know how I hate expectations. I wrote it million times already. And again now.

I guess I really have to do this periodically, to reminding myself about how I hate expectations and how I have to stick to that. Because sometimes I stupidly forgot. I went to “heaven” and start to expecting things, then realized when it’s too late (when I get disappointed by the result of my own expectations). So human!

Maybe not for some people, but for me expectations leads nowhere but disappointments. Because human usually expecting heaven when they are still live on earth.

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Here I am reminding myself to back to the old times: I won’t expect, I’ll dream.
When I’m dreaming, I know when I have to wake up (without any disappointment, because I know that’s just a dream). And if it really happens in reality, I’ll be so happy because it’s a dream comes true.

Dear myself, please remember..

Future Greatest Adventure

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I used to dream about getting lost, all the time. About traveling around the world by myself, literally. New places, sidewalks, strangers. Oh my God!
That was the “young me”. Or maybe, the “me before July 2014”.

But then as you know, I’m falling in love, and getting married. I have someone who suddenly there sitting on my priority list and ruin my dreams, beautifully.

Well, to be honest, I’m still dreaming about it. But, with a little different condition: with a partner (my future spouse).

The ugly truth is, with or without him, after or even before I’m with him, my old dream (to go alone) won’t be happened anyway, I know. Because my parents won’t let me go out of our country all alone. So the only way I can do that is by get married. And now I’m about to. So it will be possible for me to get my dream, with that little condition. And I’m happy, actually!

May we get that chances, someday! Amen!
Because the greatest adventure lies ahead!

The Dream

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You know what?
I never really hate a dream until I met you in it.

I never really hate my sleep until there’s always you in it.

I won’t run away this time. I’ll face it until it’s gone. Until you’re gone.

Dear Mr. President

Sadar sudah cukup lama tidak menginjakan kaki di atas trotoar, hari ini saya memutuskan untuk pergi tanpa kendaraan pribadi. Sempat sibuk menghabiskan waktu mencari flat shoes satu-satunya milik ku yang sampai terlupakan keberadaannya.

Kendaraan umum, kesempatan untuk melamun dan memerhatikan keadaan sekitar dengan hanya berpangku tangan tanpa harus berkutat memutar stir atau pun menginjak rem dan gas. Meskipun tidak senyaman kendaraan sendiri, saya selalu bisa menikmati moment seperti itu, sendirian.

Perjalanan pulang sore tadi sengaja tidak saya lakukan “langsung-langsung”. Maksudnya, saya lebih memilih untuk berjalan di trotoar sepanjang jalan di bawah pohon dulu ketimbang langsung mendudukan diri di atas kendaraan umum. Jarak yang seharusnya dekat sengaja saya buat lebih jauh. Udara sehabis hujan sore tadi terlalu sempurna untuk saya lewatkan dengan berjalan kaki hanya sebentar. Saking semangatnya, saya sampai lupa mengambil foto keadaan. Malah asyik menikmati dan senyum-senyum sendiri sepertinya.

Sepanjang perjalanan pulang tadi, terpikir di kepala, kalau saja kebersihan, kenyamanan dan keamanan fasilitas kendaraan umum di Indonesia terjamin dengan baik, saya pasti akan menjadi salah satu pengguna setia. Sayangnya sampai saat ini angan-angan itu masih terlalu jauh dari nyata. Semoga saja suatu saat bisa. *lirik Presiden*