Dear My Dearest Two,

Dear Son,

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Hi, love! You are sleeping in your crib now, when I’m writing this post. Someday when you read it, just imagine that I’m talking beside you, okay?

Son, eight days to go and you will be four months old. You know what? To me, it still feels like just yesterday you were born. Time flies too fast as usual.

Baby son, three months already and still I did so much mistakes to you, I’m sorry. This newbie mom will try her best to treat you right, I promise. Because son, your presence in this world is the best thing that ever happened in my life. You can never imagine what you did to me these short three months. So many life changing experiences (good ones). Thank you, my dear. You are such a miracle that comes to life. ❤

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My Dirran, no matter what happens in the future, please remember that mama loves you so much. Forgive your mom for always worries all the time. It’s getting bigger and bigger everyday, I know. But you must know, it’s because I love you. You are my first priority now, and forever. My number one. I will do anything to protect you. I would die for you, if I have to. As long as you are safe, healthy, happy, I would do anything for you.

Love you forever,
Mama.

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Hello World

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Bandung,
Sunday, May 15th, 2016.
10:42 p.m.
He was born to the world..
My babyboy, my son, the love of my life, my baby D.

Welcome to the world, son. You can see the world from your own eyes now. How was it so far? I hope you find beauty in everything around you, love. Aamiin…

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Baby, now you are free. There is no more narrow place as small as my tummy for you. You have so much places to go now. You have so much places to live. Don’t worry, I will still make sure that it’s all safe for you, just like how you were in my tummy before.

I am officially a mom now.
The hardest part to describe, how the feeling is.
All I know is, that now I have a new soulmate, a life partner to fight for. His life, his happiness, his everything are my first priority now. I will do anything, everything, to keep him safe and gets what he needs, Insha Allah.

I love you, son. From the deepest of my heart. And husband, thank you for being there for us 100% all the time. You saw your son born, that was one of the bravest thing I know a man can do. So much men can do, but only a few willing to. You are our hero. I love you.. ❤

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Now I Know

Now I know, how it feels to be a soon mom to be.
Suddenly, it is okay for anyone to hurt me, but not my baby.
Suddenly, I can stand any pain that comes to me, as long as not to my baby.
Suddenly, I am willing to stay with the pain, for the sake of my baby’s happiness.

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Suddenly, I lose my ego to zero.

Hopefully your life will be full of happiness, just like how I plan it to be, son.

Truly love you,
Mama.

Dear, My Baby Love

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Hi, son! You are 36 weeks old now here in my tummy, just like the doctor said tonight. You are soon to be born and meet me, right?
You know what? I miss you already!

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Son, you are going to see the world pretty soon, I know. And I need you to remember one thing, that no matter how worse you feel it is outside than inside my tummy before, you will be safe as long as I’m there with you, Insha Allah. I want you to know son, that I will do anything, everything to make you happy and safe. I promise you.

But son, what if I die after I deliver you to the world, hang on! There will be so much angels around you to give you love and care. Trust me, baby. You can call them papa, aki, nenek, eyang, uwak, and so many more. I promise you, they will love you also. Because they already do ever since you’re still here in my tummy now and before. That is why I know and sure about that.

Baby, to be honest I’m scared. Having you is the most colorful feeling I have ever felt in my life. I am happy, but most of all, I’m scared that I cannot make you happy. But, I’m sure you will. You are loved, by Allah and me. And the other else I told you before.

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See you in the real world pretty soon, son!
I’m sorry for everything that makes you unhappy while you are here in my tummy.
I love you so much, baby love! More than any distance in the galaxy! I love you!!

Xoxo,
Mama.

Our January 2016

Time flies. My and his January passed so fast. I don’t know if we were too busy, or too happy, or both, but January always been great month for us, as usual.

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My birthday, his birthday, and my pregnancy especially, made our January this year more special than ever. To me, it’s my first birthday as a wife, and a mom to be for sure. Masha Allah, it’s so beautiful Your gift to me! ❤

Today on the first day of February, we went to see the doctor again and “met” our baby in my tummy. “A male, Insha Allah”, the doctor said. And the most important thing is, he is healthy. Alhamdulillah…