My Capricorn Baller

image

Been accompanying him playing basketball since we were friends (10 years ago), until now we’re married and having a kid.

So, 10 years ago means since he was around 21 year old, because he is 31 now! My capricorn spouse was born on January 16th, 1987. Yes, we are two capricorns living under the same roof, sleeping in the same bed! And I love it! ❤

Happy 31st, love! May all your dreams and plans come true! Older, wiser, happier! Aamiin.
I can’t wait to see you with a head full of white hair someday! I know I’ll love that too!

Stay healthy, my best capricorn baller! I love you!!

Advertisements

30

image

January 7, 2018, I turned 30.

Alhamdulillah, thank You Allah, I feel fully blessed in this age already. I got everything I need, and almost everything I want.

I have my parents, my sister and brother in law, my husband and son. I have them, so I have everything!

But, only if I could have a wish to be granted by Allah, I wish I could come back again to Baitullah! Me and my family again. With my husband and son this time! Aamiin 🙏

As Sweet As It Looks

So many people think that my life is always sweet and smooth all the time. Well, not so wrong, but not so true too. I live a normal life. There are ups and downs here and there. But, I try not to expose the “bad time” and grateful for the good ones. That’s why it seems smooth to some people, I guess.

My life has changed, 180° since my baby was born.

Day and night feels not much different now.
No more night to morning sleep.
No more long bath time.
No more driving.
No more me time.
No more (a[lone)ly] day.

I used to be a “solo” person for years before I got married to my husband. I did almost everything by myself. Driving, shopping, anything. And I enjoyed it, so much.

This motherhood flipped it all out. My life, my daily routine, my personality even. To a better way. But I should say also a harder way. Yes, it is.

This “double” thing is hard when it comes to a personal feeling. No matter what, I still feel tired, or boring and sad, sometime. Just like any other normal human being. Especially when I feel unbalanced.

A mother do overthinking, all the time. And that’s why I feel need to be loved more than ever before. To keep me balance. To keep me sane. To keep the stress away. Because that stress monster is somehow live so near to my head nowadays.

I don’t talk about my son here. And it’s not about motherhood (only) too. It’s about me as a personal, as a wife and a mama, all in one. It’s about process. A beautiful complicated process.

image

Well, I’d be a pineapple. No matter how hard life is, it’s more the sweet than the sour after all. Allah is with me. That’s all I need as the strongest power source. Insha Allah. 💛

And, yes, my life is sweet. As sweet as it looks.

To My Husband,

image

I just want you to read it (the pic) someday. So you will understand why I love you so much.

Friday, November 17, 2017. 11:20 p.m.

Dear working hubby,

Thank you for the sleepless nights because of taking care of me when I’m sick these days,
For the hugs even when I’m hot like an oven, you said
For taking care of our son also,
And for working hard outta home for us as well, still.

I have no reason not to love you, even after that b(a)dtime story you told me before. (Too funny not to mention it)

Thank you for everything, love. Be home soon. Your wife and son missing you badly! ❤

Motherhood

02:06 a.m. Bedroom as usual.

I slept already for some minutes/hours before. Awakened by my son, as usual. Moved to his bed with a super sleepy body and soul, gave him milk time, tried to sleep with him but got interrupted here and there by his “act”, until the sleepy feeling is gone. Yes, so here I am now, writing it, as usual. As usual. As usual. As usual.

image

The art of motherhood, right? :)

I already back in my bed. Try to find a way to sleep again. Not only because I want it, but because I need it more than I want it right now.

I am a mother now. I need to sleep, so I can be a mother again tomorrow. Not just a mother, but a good mother. Hopefully.

image

I am a mother, so I think I already brave enough, right?
I love my son more than myself, so I hope I am special enough for him.
And, I really need to sleep now. Because I have to be strong to raise my son. No, I’m joking. Not funny, huh? So, that’s why I need to sleep now, I’m sure.

I am tired. But I don’t want to be a tired mama when my son is awake.

image

I will sleep. And I will wake up happy, healthy and strong this morning when you wake up, son. See you this morning, love.

Silent Regret

01:29 a.m. in my bedroom, as usual.

I can’t sleep. Feeling sorry, by being a “preachy mama” to my son these days.
I don’t know if it’s because of my period, or it’s just me being mean. Oh son, I’m so sorry. 💔

Shed a tear by feeling sorry, now I can only kiss and apologize to my sleeping baby. And promise him not to do that anymore. I will try my best, son. I promise.

image

Di, I love you, son. So much! With all my heart.
Mama will do anything to be a better person and the best mom for you, every single day. Bear with me, son. I will do my best. Insha Allah.

Love,
Mama.